Attending a wedding is an exciting occasion! However, attendance comes with certain responsibilities to ensure the day is memorable for everyone involved. No one wants to be “that person” who did “that thing” at someone else’s wedding. Here are some key etiquette guidelines for wedding guests:
1. Respond Promptly to Invitations
Timely responses to any requests by the couple are helpful so they can accurately get the right numbers for their venue, caterers, and budget. There is a lot of planning involved based on the guest count. Don’t unnecessarily stress out the bride and groom by delaying your response. If you are unsure, let them know when you will have a final answer.
2. Respect the Dress Code
Adhering to the specified dress code is essential. For example, at The Barn on Welcome Hill we’ve had events where everyone was dressed to the nines and we’ve had other events that were considerably more casual. If in doubt, ask the bridal party what dress is expected. Usually, your Sunday best will do.
3. Be Mindful of Plus-One and Family Invitations
Your invitation should quickly answer that question based on who the envelope is addressed to. If you’re in a couple, you may get one invitation addressed to you both at one address or a separate invitation sent specifically to your partner if they don’t live with you. If you are single, the invitation will explicitly state 'plus one' or 'and guest.' You can then add your chosen guest’s name on the RSVPs. As for kids? If your children’s names or 'and family' are listed either on the outer or inner envelope, that means your children are invited. The presence of children at a wedding can be a source of tension among guests. Remember, the bride and groom are footing the bill and have put a lot of time and effort into planning their day. If they decide against inviting children, please respect their wishes.
4. Avoid Wearing Inappropriate Colors
Wearing an entirely black ensemble is typically something to avoid. 'You should not look like you are attending a funeral. Black is fine if you add something to it or if there’s something that breaks it,' says Lizzie Post with Vogue Weddings. Red is also a traditional shade worn by brides in Indian and Chinese cultures. If a member of the couple comes from that background, you should reconsider wearing the hue for their wedding day. Here at The Barn on Welcome Hill most of our brides wear white. One of the biggest faux pas in western culture is for a guest to wear white to a wedding.
5. Send a Gift, Even If You Cannot Attend
Even if you receive an invite that you have to decline, it’s polite to send something still. 'This doesn’t have to be a big gift, but it is customary. The reason is this is one of—if not the most—significant moments in someone’s life. To witness it, be a part of it, and celebrate it is a really big honor,' says Lizzie Post with Vogue Weddings. 'My absolute favorite is a picture frame engraved with the date of the wedding on it.' If you’re lacking for creativity, most couples will have a gift registry to make this part easy on you!
6. Limit Personal Photography
Couples can spend tens of thousands of dollars on a great photographer, and we’ll literally, time and time again, watch a guest step right in front of a photographer with a cell phone, their own camera, or even an iPad. What’s worse, these people will then post their photos on social media before the bride and groom get their professional photos back from their photographer. If you must take your own photos, don’t post them until after the wedding party has posted their photos. You don’t want to steal their thunder!
7. Drink Responsibly
Few things can bring down a party like someone who has had a little too much to drink and makes a scene. The internet is full of videos of people losing their cool, destroying property, or just generally acting like a jac**s. Don’t ruin someone’s big day because you went a little heavy on the light beer.
8. Other Etiquette Tips
Those are the biggest etiquette missteps made by wedding guests. However, here are a few more just to make sure you can be the perfect wedding guest:
Don’t leave before the cake is cut
Make it a point to congratulate the couple and thank them for the invitation
Don’t take any floral arrangements without permission
BE ON TIME!
Overall, if you remember to just keep the focus on the couple getting married you really can’t go wrong. You want to be remembered for adding to their big day, not taking away from it!
Do you have a story about broken etiquette at a wedding? We’d love to hear it in the comments or on our Facebook page!
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